Pretty in Pink for Valentine's Day
As you know, Valentine's Day is next Wednesday. So I thought I might share with you a bit of my love story so you can get a personal glimpse into my life. Outfit details are below along with links to different dresses you should rock for your important date night. If you're single, why not still dress up for a fun ladies night? I know every Valentine's Day I've been single, I still wear red or pink!
My Love Story
Heartbroken During Valentine's Day Last Year
Last Valentine’s Day I was heartbroken. I am a hopeless romantic and I have a problem with falling in love quite easily once I start crushing. Last fall, I started dating this guy that I had had a crush on seven years earlier but had lost contact with completely. Old feelings buried deep down all of a sudden rushed to the surface. What I didn't know when I started dating him is that he had some major problems that he was dealing with.
I didn't know that when he messaged me out of the blue, I was his rebound to make up for his ex who dumped him two weeks earlier. He was a serial dater and I was next on his list. Not only was he not over his most recent ex, but he was also not over his long-term college girlfriend who he dated right before the girl before me.
He also had health issues. It devastated me when he wanted to take a break to focus on them, but I understood. Two weeks later, my best friend found him active on Tinder (we had deleted our accounts together). Eventually, we met up again and he told me he still wasn't over me. Yet he also confessed that he had slept with his ex during our "break." So clearly, he wasn't using that time to focus on himself and his health. If he actually cared about me like he said he wouldn't have done those things. So this time last year, I was heartbroken and felt so betrayed by someone I thought I had loved and trusted.
This certainly wasn’t the only time that I have been mistreated by someone that I dated. I have dated a number of men who didn’t treat me right or give me the respect I deserved. When I tried to demand respect, they often wrote me off as bossy. It really frustrated me when one of the guys I dated exclusively for five months didn’t wish me a happy birthday, let alone do anything special or give me a card. Then he tried to make me out as crazy for being upset about it. The thing is when you’re told you’re crazy or bossy enough times, eventually you start to believe it. When you're used to being disrespected, it becomes normalized and you don't know how else to be treated. So you stay in toxic relationships because it's what you know.
A Valentine's Day Vow
Frustrated with my relationships history and knowing I deserve better, I vowed to myself to make a change in my life. I promised myself I would no longer settle for dating someone who did not treat me as I should be treated. I met my current boyfriend just a few months later in April.
Meeting My Boyfriend in Gdansk
I was studying in Krakow, Poland and my sister Roshan came to visit me for her Spring break. We planned on going to Lithuania together to visit the country of our great great grandparents but then had to buy last-minute tickets to Gdansk instead. On our first night in Gdansk, she seemed to have disappeared while going to the bathroom. I then found her talking with my boyfriend's younger brother. We then sat down with their group. The next night, we were invited to meet up with them again. Over the next few nights, I noticed how funny my now-boyfriend was and how much fun it was joking back and forth. I liked him, but am often too shy to make the first move. On the last night, Roshan set us up by telling each of us separately that one liked the other. Later in the night, he just came out with it and told me,
"Rhoya, I think you're absolutely gorgeous."
I thought I'd never see him again after that night. However, to my surprise, he expressed interest in coming to visit me in Krakow. Two weeks later after talking to each other every day, he booked a ticket to fly back to Poland to visit me. And as they say...the rest is history.
Why Finding Someone Who Treats You Right Is So Important
Now, of course, we've had bumps along the road and not all is perfect. In fact, we split for a month and a half when I moved back to America after Poland. Long-distance relationships are really hard, especially when there is such a big time zone difference. I wanted to move back to England, and that's why I let the relationship develop in the first place. However, I was so overwhelmed by trying to plan out the details and taking the leap we just ended up as squabbling. Losing him made me realize that I needed to make the move for me and I needed to do it soon. Instead of worrying about what could happen, I just needed to have the confidence and see where life took me. My journey took me to the city of Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, a city I had never been to before or even knew much about. It was only an hour and a half away from Jamie, and we ended up getting back together.
I am happy because, for the first time in years, my partner treats me with respect. He is happy to help me with whatever I need without complaining or asking for something in return. I don't even need to ask him most of the time, he just does it himself because he cares. When I came back from America after the holidays, he took me to the Gateshead MetroCentre (one of the biggest malls I've ever been in) so I could get things to decorate my room. He took me to Ikea three times in two days and then assembled my new chest of drawers. If I'm stressed out about something I can call him and he will listen to me vent (for hours). He gives me good advice when I need it and he is supporting me in achieving some major goals this year. Most importantly, he makes me laugh constantly. They say that laughter is the best medicine. He always brightens up my day by making me laugh to the point where it hurts.
We come from quite different backgrounds which sometimes leads to misunderstandings. However, my experience has taught me that at the end of the day you just want someone who respects you, cherishes you, and makes you smile every day. Nothing is more important those three things and you should make sure you never settle for less.
Looking back, I can only roll my eyes at how I let myself be stomped on for all those years by those other guys. If you are in a relationship with someone who disrespects you, please learn from my mistakes and stand up for yourself or leave sooner! You will not regret it. Hold out for someone who will treat you right. If you're single and ready to mingle, make your Valentine's day about self-love. Set some goals for yourself like I did last year. You need to love and respect yourself before others can properly love you. Doing so changed my life for the better. You all deserve to be respected, cherished and made to laugh every day. So that's my love story with my boyfriend, but also with myself.
Valentine's Day Outfit Ideas
My dress: click here
My shoes: click here (unfortunately, they're sold out but you can request them to email you if they come back in stock for another day)
Other dress picks from Asos:
Look Ravishing in Red
Bardot puff sleeve dress £45: click here
Scuba bardot dress (tall) £38: click here
Velvet off-shoulder skater dress £35: click here
Scuba off-shoulder mermaid midi dress (tall) £38: click here
Orangey red lace bow-front dress £28: click here
Look Pretty in Pink
Off-shoulder lace dress (plus size) £60: click here
Lace pencil dress £65: click here
Lace insert mini dress £45: click here
Off-shoulder sweetheart-neck lace dress (tall) £65: click here
Lace mini dress with puff sleeves £108: click here
Contrasting lace midi dress £34: click here
Lace bardot dress (petite) £35: click here
Lace halter-neck skater dress £39: click here
Extreme sleeve off-shoulder contrast lace dress £28: click here
Bardot lace dress (plus size) £17 : click here
Off-sholder puff sleeve mini dress £32: click here
What are your plans for Valentine's Day?